Turn The Page.

Welcome Back.....

I know its been a while since an update and A lot has happened. 

Both in Daily Life and Inside my mind. 

Hum.... Where to begin?

If you noticed the URL to my Blog has changed it is now http://TIFFANYHARNED.Blogspot.com

Im reclaiming my maiden name. 

now back to my this update. 

Lets Start with the crazy circles Life has been taking me in. 

If you didn't know in 2003 I left NJ to presue my dreams of being a Photographer in Los Angeles. 

I moved to California with a few friends of friends. 

I called a couch my home and shortly after upgraded to a condo with my own room. 

I spent somewhere around 5.5 yrs out here in California.

Being pretty successful in my dream of being a Photographer. 

Life took some strange twists and lead me down some wild roads.

People used to say my life was strange enough to be a book. 

Due to the high price of living in California I abandoned my apartment and decided to couch surf and see where where my luck took me next. 

Boy was that a bad idea. 

But i guess i lived and i learned. 

Or so i thought i did. 

I can't say anything other than i tried i succeeded and all at the same time i felt like i failed.

I followed my dreams 

And NOW My life has come full cycle once again. 

The question i keep asking myself is Was i just CALI DREAMING THIS TIME?

Or was this really what i wanted?

Life is so confusing. And i tend to travel the paths less traveled. 

And i seem to be one of the most stubborn people i know. 

Sometimes I ask do I.......

Then i look back at all the Crazy amazing unique People i have met along my travels, All the things i learned, and places i have been. 

And i have to say HELL NO....

Im happy This Young soul has lived and learned and explored all she has thus far. 

I had been a hermit for most of my first days Back in Southern California.

I was still feeling broken and Fragile.

Then realized maybe i should venture out and start to live life again.

My friend Joe who is a Guitar tech for the band POD gave me a call that he was in town for the night and I should come out and hang out.

So I did. It was nice to hang with a friend and chat about where life had taken us in the past few years. 

The night turned into an adventure that lead us to UM watching the OLYMPICS in a cabana by this amazing pool. 

I know you expected a much more adventure filled answer. Sorry to disappoint.

But the night was full of laughs. 

Joe wanted to kill me for singing coca coca cabana for the rest of the night. 

The next night i wandered up towards Venice to see my friend Ro again.

He was kind enough to give my back a break from the horrid couch i had been staying on that made me feel like i was 100 and broken. 

That night consisted of giggles and me realizing that the sign by his balcony made out shadows look like they were 3D.

Ah atleast i still have an imagination.

The highlight of my daily life back in California has been actually going to work at  the Yeti Media office. 

The guys and gal at Yeti are great People . I will say it again..

I truly am blessed with the best job and co workers anyone could ask for. 

We even have friday afternoon BBQ's for our lunch break. 

I introduced the team to my favorite new Beertail The BLOODY BEER.

Yup, bloody mary mix, PBR, and CRAZY JUICE GHOST CHILI SAUCE. 

                                               



                                                 

After work i decided to venture south a bit  Down to San Deigo

To see an old friend Tommy. 

He is a fairer Don't know what that is?

i probally didn't spell it right 

Well he puts horse shoes on Horses Down at the Race Track. 

This is not an easy job at all. 

But pretty cool to watch and learn about. 

Del Mar is a pretty little Beach town and it was a lot of fun spending time down there both at the race track while Tommy work and at the RV and Beach House. 

I had the opp to enjoy the culture down there , the local life, and local art. 

This car below was so cool. I love Old Cars 

I even got to be fancy for the day. LOL. 

Good times beautiful sunsets and good company. 

The next morning i was woken by tommys 13 yr old sister at 5am she wanted me to come out on the balcony to watch the dolphins swim by in the ocean. The zoom on my phone wouldn't allow me to get a picture but it was an amazing sight to see. 

After that we took Tommy's sister over to her stable to get her horse ready to compete in a money class for Jumping. Here she explained to me how the different classes and competitions worked. 

These huge creatures are so beautiful. 

Their noses are so soft . 

Well The weekend was almost over and it was time to head North again But why end the adventure there.

My friend Kevin Notified me that he was Racing in a Boat race in Long Beach. 

So i headed over. 

I didn't know where to find his family in the crowd so i took a seat over by the Launch.

With in 2 minutes of the start there was a collision. I didn't know which boat kevin was in but soon saw his mom frantic over by the EMT. I walked over and consoled her. 

Turns out Kevin was in the collision but was  Ok and all the boat needed was a little duct tape to continue.

The race began again and Kevin Held his ground staying in the second place spot very close neck in neck making us all nervous with every loop.  coming way to close to the 3rd place boat that kept trying to creep in front of him. we were Just hoping there wasn't another collision. 

In the end it was announced that With a duct taped boat that was taking on water and a very very hurt hand Kevin managed to Come out on top and take 2nd place in the race. Congrats Kevin. 

It was really nice to get to spend time with his mother during the race too. She is a sweet heart and like family to me also. 

After my fun filled weekend away It was back to the Mean couch that likes to hurt my back and Back to the room mates. 

Yup thats rob watering the lawn even though we are in a drought. 

Oh and back to work. My mini mac was making me mad this day. 

Man a laptop would be nice is all i kept saying. 

Lunch breaks at work have brought out the fun Klutz in me. 

Some How i managed to spill my iced tea on my lap so why not go hop in the the fountain to clean it off.

I didn't know my co workers would catch me with a camera. 

And yes that gold boy is the fountain. 

Work started getting interesting and i had my first meeting in LA with a potential client. 

Before the meeting we wandered the LA Art district.

The street art there was breath taking and inspiring. 

Lunch was delicious and the meeting went very very well. 

And a phone call after lunch revealed  That My Divorce had been finalized 

My name had been restored and I was a free woman again. 

I just had to wait for papers in the mail to take to DMV to change my name on my license.

Not a shabby day if i may say so. 

Remember that whole I have issues sitting still thing i keep mentioning. 

Well after my meeting It was time to hop a flight Home to NJ.

Up Up and Away....

I landed in NYC to take a taxi to a friends house in Queens, Then the Subway NYC and eventual to NJ

On my of my transfers on the train I realized i was at World Trade Center and kept hearing about this freedom tower they were building there.

Well shucks There it is. Not as impressive as the Twin Towers but not to shabby to say the least. 

Upon arriving to NJ i made a few pit stops to see some old friends and co workers. 

Adrienne was kind enough to bring me over to R&T to see Lucy and Beverly 

The ladies were so cute they took me inside to show me their collection of post cards i had mailed them on my adventures.  We used to joke that we didn't know what the other ladies were looking at when they stared at the wall so i vowed upon leaving there that i was going to send a million post cards so next temp season they actually had something to look at. 

And i hope they are ready to expect more. 

Later that night I had the honor of seeing Axel who i some how don't have a pic of.

Joyce who was kind enough to drive me down south to a show where i missed the only band i wanted to see but still enjoyed a great night with great people. 

Courtney, Myself and her sister Donna were reunited and its crazy how life has brought us all to the same point at the same time. 

Who would have though these 3 married ladies would all end up Single again at the same time. 

Trouble with a capital T.

I got to spend some much needed time with my Family. 

Even though for a moment i felt like i had walked into a move home intervention. 

I guess my family misses me just a bit.

You know being moms only child and dads only daughter and Grandmas little angel. 

I really do have the most amazing Family. 

I had to question for a minute why i keep running 3000 miles away from them. 

I do miss my mommy and daddy. 

But i came to cali for the sunshine, Beaches, Palm trees and WORK.

I don't know how i don't have a pic of mom from this trip but i did find one of me and dad. 

I think i sort of look like him sometimes. 

I had plans of tattooing the following words on my body while i was home but opted not to while i was in Queens. 

Facebook keeps telling me to give single dads a chance. 

Um Facebook just cause I'm single why do you think theres a single dad out there that deserves a chance with me?

And I ate my words and discovered there is 1 out there that deserves a chance. 

I decided to spend a little time with a long time friend who i have had this crazy crush on for 9 years.

He was always off limits due to the fact of you know being married with a kid.

But come to find out 10 yrs later his marriage had taken the same turn as mine did.

I would never wish divorce on any couple its not easy to go through as you have been reading over the past few months. 

But it was nice to know this Amazingly good looking sweet fun man was back on the market. 

SO we reconnected. I was very very stern that i only wanted to spend time with him and he set it up that his daughter would be with his parents but due to unseen happenings and his sister having the cutest little baby and his mom needing to be there to help her we we ended up spending time together with his daughter who was so much fun to hang with. 

And learning he truly is one of the most amazing fathers i have ever met. 

Ontop of being one of the most amazing man i think i have ever met. 

After a day or so of spending some time together i remembered 

So I decided He deserved a chance. 

It was time to take down that wall i put up around me and to stop feeling so broken and fragile and take a chance again in Life.

I learned i love his Blurry Kisses. 

He makes my world spin.

Come to find out he's just as random as I am and beyond polite and sweet.

Very caring , nurturing and just a ton of fun to be around.

And really easy to talk to.

We spent many many hours just having rambling conversations and laughing and smiling. 

It has been a while since i have seen a real smile on my face. 

And he for sure helped plant one on my face. 

To be honest i was a little nervous hanging with him and his daughter. 

I am a child from divorced parents and remember how protective i was of my mom and dad growing up and in turn was pretty mean to most of the men and women my parents invited into our lives. 

So i decided it was best not to be affectionate towards him when she was present and let life go how ever it was meant to. I figured if she approved of me being around, I would let her invite me into their life instead of me trying to have her be accepting of our decisions of wanting to be close.

To my surprise it didn't take long for his daughter to accept me as a friend. 

WHich was really nice.

Time spent with the two of them consisted of Mini golf, Boardwalk games, fun at the ocean, Me teaching her to paddle board at my moms lake, and playing littlest pet shop and even a trip to Toys R Us.

The last night in town caught me off guard and melted my heart. 

But i want to keep that moment for myself. Maybe one day i will share.

Lets just say it had something to do with her telling me she wished i didn't have to leave

And the best night sleep i have gotten in a long long time. 

While i was using the computer at His shop She took it upon herself to draw me a yeti by looking at the Yeti on Yeti - Media's Website

Every moment spent with him i kept wondering Is this what real relationships are like?

Is this what i have been missing out on all these years? 

Are there more guys out there that still treat ladies this amazing?

And Is this what being part of a family is like?

It was a mind trip to spend time with a man i had interest in who had a child. 

I had never walked down that road in life before. 

Something in me keeps telling me to put that fence back up and be careful of how fast i give away my heart.

My mind also tells me to be careful cause there is a child involved in this situation also. 

I mean there are 3000 miles between where we each live. 

He owns a business and has an amazing child and sort of can't just up and leave to come be with me. 

And I've been chasing this Cali dream for so long and have an amazing Job here. 

But at the same time he is so amazing and deserves a fair chance. 

I keep telling myself 

I originally met him when a mutual friend requested i come take some pictures of their Band 9 yrs ago. which that band is no longer together .

Every time i saw him since then he gave me butterflies in my belly and made me so nervous cause of my huge crush on him. 

I can't even count the number of times he asked why i am not friends with my camera anymore. 

And how encouraging he was for me to pick it back up again. 

Upon finding out i had to head back to cali he told me 

He would wait for me however long it took.

He told me he didn't want to miss out on being with me twice in a life time. 

My only response was Life has a way of making things happen and we would see what tomorrow brings. I can't justify coming back east Just for a Boy.

And he did unknowingly have my family on his side but i still had to come back to Cali and chase that dream i have been chasing for years. 

But on the Up side

He even has a License, a Vehicle, a Job, and doesn't live with his parents.  Oh and comes from a good caring family. 

RJ ARENT YOU PROUD I UPED MY STANDARDS. 

(my friend Rj always told me the standards to date me were you couldn't have a car or license, you had to live with your parents and you can't have a job)

Ive never really care about any of those things i just always looked for someone i thought i connected with. But we see where that has gotten me in life. LOL.

It hurt to walk away Right now

 I vowed i was living life for ME and no one else. 

But

Between my Families begging Please come home, Grandma pleaing that she wishes i was closer so she  could hug me more often and know i was safe, and now this amazing man and his amazing daughter, I had some things to think about upon heading back to cali.

My flight had been extended a few days and a few different times for many different reasons.

And i thank my Friend ANT for being so patient and kind in helping me switch my flights and try to find ones with enough seats to get me back to go back to work. 

So UP Up and Away Back to cali i went. 

Leaving my heart in NJ. 

While i was in NJ I had headed out in the rain in Flip Flops to the store to get a Razor to shave my legs and some how managed to slip and fall in a pot hole DEAD SOBER. 

It messed my foot up a lil. But i was too stubborn to go to the hospital cause the EX Husband had cancelled my Health ins because he said i didn't deserve it anymore.

This was before the divorce was final which was against the papers we signed.

But I'm too nice to fight it with the courts. 

Upon me telling him what if i end up in the ER he asked how or why would that happen?

Um maybe cause I'm a klutz. 

And I'm the only idiot that can fall in a pot hole dead sober. 

I continued to walk on it and go about life like nothing was wrong all while there was a shooting pain in my foot with every step. 

My solution was wrap it in my Misfits Bandanna 

Well a week later I went out to celebrate My dear dear friend Lenny's Birthday in Hollywood. 

It was his first birthday here. Lenny is originally from NJ too. 

He moved out here last January with his amazing and beautiful wife Colleen.

Colleen was back east with Family so i decided i would take him out on the town and show him a good time for his B-Day.

We started the night off trying to go to the Rainbow bar and grill but due to the sunset music fest we couldn't go there so we settled for dinner at Saddle Ranch. 

Instead of a birthday cake they brought him a mountain of cotton candy with a candle in it

And a bunch of free fruity shots. 

From there we hit up the Burgandy Room and Piano bar with a few other stops along the way.

It was a fun night and I'm happy i got to share it with him.

We ended the night with sharpies creating our own Stars on the Hollywood walk of Fame. 

Look Im Famous. LOL. 

My star is right near Motley Crue LOL. 

The next morning i woke to an even more swollen foot that was turning colors and i couldn't put any pressure on. This is the last thing i needed in my life at the moment. 

I can't afford a doctor, I don't have anyone to look after me, I don't have anyone even remotely close that i don't feel like a burden upon that i can stay with.

Upon looking at my budget i had a choice of going to a doctor or paying rent.

I had a choice of Eating or staving myself,

I even had the choice of Struggling out here and trying to save for an apartment 

Or sucking up my pride and heading back east to be with my family again and regrouping my life and re figuring things out. 

Yes i do have a job but i do not work 40-50 hours a week and now with a hurt foot a second job is not an option. 

Oh and for some reason life will not allow me to win the lottery.

But i guess you need to actually play the lottery to win it. 

So I believe i made a smart decision and didn't pay rent and Found out i seriously messed up my foot to the point that I'm on crutches. 

There is no feeling worse than walking into Walmart on a hurt foot where you could barely walk and discovering they keep the crutches all the way in the back of the store and you have to find your own way there to get them.

the next worst feeling is knowing that as much as you love your job and the sunshine, beach, palm trees, and California Life. Sometimes you have to go Home where the Heart is. 

Between my budget, The price of gas and living, My foot, Starting to be depressed missing the ones i love and love me, And seeing my life go in 6 years of circles in the matter of a month. 

My foot and my gut tell me. Its Time to throw in the flag for a bit and Plan to head east. 

But Since i hurt my right foot Its going to be a little hard to drive 3000 miles all by my self. 

So I sit here and am working from a friends couch with ice on my foot and IB Profin 800 in my belly and i try to figure out whats next. 

My dad sent this to me the other day and it is so true. 

We decided that it may be best for My 22 year old brother to fly out to California for his first time ever and maybe he should help bring me home all why enjoying one of my favorite past times 

DRIVING CROSS COUNTRY

My brother has never been farther west than PA. 

And he grew up in PA.

B is my 1/2 brother and we didn't grow up together cause we had different moms. 

So we aren't like most brothers and sisters we really don't know much about each other besides small chats at holidays and what ever dad has told him or i post on FB. 

Through the years we have started to grow closer and be friends. 

And regardless of anything i LOVE him with all my heart.

So this drive should be fun yet interesting. 

I always said i feel my higher calling in life was to show the younger generations Things i have learned and discovered so why not start with my little brother. 

Im told i shouldn't drive and i shouldn't walk. But we will see how well i listen.

Dad asked instead of just booking it home  and making it there in 3 days

he would appreciate it if i could route the trip so i could show him some amazing scenic and fun spots along the way. So i decided why not. 

It kills me that i have to leave California. 

It kills me that I have to leave my amazing job.

Well i get to continue my job and work remote from NJ cause i have the worlds most amazing boss.

But I'm going to miss going into the office and actually hanging out with my co workers. 

(But there is this thing called an airplane that could bring me back for business meetings and will allow me to be bi coastal if wanted or needed)

And there is nothing written saying that i can't come back to Cali as long as it doesn't fall in the ocean. 

And next time i would have to be better prepared financially.

But its a must that i head back east right now, i need to get better. I need to spend Much needed time with grandma, mom and dad.

Oh and stan and fran. hehehehe

And i figure while I'm there. Maybe ill give that amazing man who makes me so smitten a chance to be part of my life. 

And don't tell me its too soon. Im going to take it slow.

So now i play the waiting game, I stay off my foot, I try and figure out where I'm staying one night to the next and i keep my head held high and remember i didn't fail. 

I just learned another important lesson 

All of the sunshine, palm trees, blue oceans, beautiful beaches and so on

Cant replace the amazing friends and family i have back east. 

It was a different time in my life that i ran the streets of LA and partied like a rock star.

I grew past that and to see the world through sober eyes its not the same as i remember it.

I ultimately want to settle down in Life. 

Maybe stop running.

When i got married 3.5 yrs ago i thought i was over that dating BS and everything i dreamed of would happen like a fairy tale. well boy was i wrong. 

Back at square 1. Back to the drawing board. 

And off to make Clay Yeti's to kill time while i can't walk and am waiting for my brother to fly out on the 28th  to bring me home. 

I feel like i let a lot of people down by not toughing it out longer out here. 

I feel like i am disappointing my boss by heading back east a month after getting here.

and i feel like i let down you my readers by not having crazier adventures out here.

But .......................

And that in this case would be 

It makes me sad that i don't get to take my planned trip to Hawaii in Sept for Lori's Birthday 

But i guess thats just

I mentioned in my last update that i didn't know what was next

And i don't think anyone including myself saw this twist coming in the story

but i did mention i still had the urge to travel and have more adventures so here goes another one. 

3000 + miles of adventure coming your way.

This chapter is just getting started and can go anywhere

The sky is the limit

And the world is mine right now for the taking

Just with an injured foot. 

which adds an interesting twist to things. 

I will be updating my blog daily as of the 29th of this month when i hope to begin this journey east with my little brother.  i will be putting the tracker on my phone again and the map on the top of my blog so you can check my location a few times a day and see our progress while driving across the USA once again. This time we will be taking the southern route which i love dearly. 

So new scenery and more states to add to this Story. 

And this time i have a lap top to update from With Pictures!!!

LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN. 

Such a bitter sweet good bye for now from California 

Thank you for reading my rambles 

and 

MARK MY WORDS HERE IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. 

I also want to take a second to say than you to my boss for allowing me to keep my job and being so understanding that this is what I need to do at the moment and even though I'm going to miss working directly with the yeti team here in cali i will bust my butt while working remotely from NJ. 

Time to turn the page.