New Beginnings: Focusing on some positive points.

Why hello again. And thank you for coming back. Lets start this out in the words of a band called Green Day

Do you have the time

To listen to me whine

About nothing and everything

All at once?

Well actually this one isn't going to be me complaining in circles.

So much has been going on Its almost over whelming.

Alot of what has been happening lately i actually don't feel should be shared here just yet.

I talk alot about not wanting to be censored but somethings are just better left to be discussed in private this time.

Yes I am OK ,

Yes Brian is OK,

He is still working hard at his job and moving up the food chain fast.

I am still working 2 Jobs and I must say I Absolutely LOVE working with and for Yeti Media. They are an amazing team of programmers. I am blown away and honored that I was asked to join their team.

I have been spending alot of time with Tiffany.

We actually had an amazingly EPIC day a few weeks ago where we went for a walk on the trails by her house.

Played on swings at the park, Ate Pizza, Drank Smoothies, And rode in Shopping Carts. It was a great Day.

The following weekend The band Warner Drive came back through Portland.

So Tiffany, Brian and I went out to see the.

They put on an amazing show as usual.

Something about their music Inspires me.

This time i decided to hang around after their set and got to hang out with an old time friend. It was nice to catch up and laugh and reminisce about fun times in LA. I also had the opportunity to make new amazing friends.

Heck i even helped load out gear. IN HEELS.

I had the worlds biggest Kool Aid smile on my face all night.

Its scary that i have lost so much weight but in the 1 picture that was taken of me that night i look heavier than when i began working out.

Oh well. I was drinking. Im going to blame it on the booze.

Speaking of weight loss I am officially down 16 lbs.

YES you read that right 16 in I'm going to say a month and maybe a few weeks. Not too shabby if i may say so.

Not too shabby if i may say so.

I am watching what i eat am still not consuming processed sugar.

I had to cut coffee out of my diet for a bit but its ok.

And Yes I AM EATING.

I recently started seeing a trainer who may i say is So Amazing.

She does roller derby, Has tattoos, also has long blonde dreadlocks, and a fun positive attitude.
She actually makes me look forward to the days i train with her.
I wish i was rich so i could afford to have her push me at the gym every day.
But I'm doing my work out home work.

I specifically requested her, something told me she was the one i needed to train with and my gut was so right.

The first day we went over food and i gave her the run down of what I've been doing so far to get down to the weight I'm at now.

She measured me and weighed me and she said i had come a long way on my own.

She said i had done most of the hard work getting my mind in the mode of wanting to eat right and starting a routine.

Aswell as Pushing myself to stick to it.

She told me that she didn't want me on the elliptical machine anymore. It was time to upgrade to the stair master.

That machine worked me.

As did she on our next meeting.

She gave me a bunch of work outs to do 5 days a week to help rebuild my leg strength, upper body strength, and Of course my ABS.

To begin the day she took me out on the basketball court.

While doing my work outs we had each other laughing.

So my abs got double the work out.

But for some reason my legs are the things that hurt the most.

I get 2 more sessions with her and really wish i could afford more.

She wants to start me on basic weights just to reform my body and build definition.
I'm not apposed.

I am honestly feeling really good for once And i have given myself a Goal and a deadline to meet it.

I picked July 7th as my deadline, And my goal is to have defined abs, Legs, and arms. All while doing everything possible to improve my mental state too.

If i can meet that goal then the next challenge i will attempt is.....

wait for it .....

Yes you guessed it,

TO QUIT SMOKING.

Like a Phoenix I shall rise from the ashes just as i have done before.

And will do again.

I am on the road to a better tomorrow one baby step at a time.

I understand Life will never be perfect.

And im in disbelief that so many of you read my rambles.

I feel honored.

Grandma You personally asked me to not write about sad things or depression so I decided to focus on positive things in this update just for you.

But i just want you to know grandma,

sometimes it feels good to finally release inner demons AKA Secrets

that were held onto for too long out of fear.

For what ever the reason may have been.

As some of my past blogs reveal.
Just Know

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that took the time to email or private message me after my last post.

Your messages really touched me.

Im so grateful to have each and everyone of you in my life even if i have never met you.

I am a true believer that miracles can happen.

And you would be shocked at some of the things that i thought to be impossible .

That actually proved to be possible in the long run.

But i will save that for another day.

A wise man once told me,

" You cant dwell on the past and cant wait around in the present.

All you can do is work toward a better future."

And right now i am working on a better future for myself.

I see alot of changes in my future.

I know it will not be an easy road to travel down but Im up for the challenge.

I am a survivor.

(And no i am not talking about the TV show)

I know my future is bright i just have to get past these dark clouds to see the sun.

The other night i had the honor of spending time with the sweetest little angel.

Meet Raven.

Danielle and Shawns Beautiful Baby Girl.

She is such a well behaved baby.

It was my honor to baby sit her and hang out with these two also.

Meet Lux and Sadie.

After baby sitting till midnight i decided i was going to take a trip to Seattle.

I love long drives to clear my head.

I had a blast in Seattle wandering the city in the sun.

I went down to Pikes market place and picked out one of these crabs to put in my belly.

I sampled every kind of fruit and veggie available.

It was so delicious it made my mouth water and was better than any candy I've ever had.

I discovered QR codes everywhere and watched tons of interesting street musicians.

I discovered art in the most random of places.

How often do you look up? I do all the time.

I wandered random alley ways

I went to the space needle.

And even took an underground tour .

Which was pretty cool.

They took me under Seattle and gave a little of the history of Booze smuggling, Gambling, and Prostitution.

My tour guide was a trip and filled with lots of great jokes.

he took the tour to many interesting spots

I love old abandon places with history.

After that i wandered to a few bars

And stumbled upon this goth bar which was pretty cool.

I watched people dance

then decided to take myself on the dance floor and danced like a fool.

It was a great trip.

But it sort of made me miss driving cross country.
and stumble upon new cities I've never explored before.

I miss the road.

I miss traveling.

But speaking of travels.

Grandpa dont read grandma this part.

For those of you who dont know already,

I will be flying back east this week.

I wanted to surprise my Grandma who is feeling under the weather.

and with out going into too much other detail I want to see the rest of my family.

I want hugs and lots of them.

Im also hoping to find some time in there to get to see all my friends.

Maybe even take a trip to go see Merlin the Wizard too.
Mom i know you want to go to New Hope like we did every mothers day so we will pretend mothers day is next weekend.

Who knows what kind of interesting fun will be had.

Speaking of fun.
I had an interesting day today after work.

I called Zay up to see if he would die and cut my hair which soon after turned into The below pictures.
Yup we busted out the clippers.

Yup I got a mini fade.

It feels cool to run my hands over it and its going to keep my hair off my neck and you really can't notice it even when my hair is up.

We were going to shave designs in it then decided maybe next time.

If i can't have neon pink hair then i will settle for this for now.

Mom don't worry it will grow back.

After my fancy hair cut I went to my hour long yoga class and then worked on my core, did some strength training and then made friends with the stair master.