Well Hello again. Fancy meeting you here again.

Life has been pretty swell lately.

Ive been learning new things, Thinking positive, Working my butt off and planning for the future.

I started my new job at the mail house here in Portland. I like it so far.

The people seem pretty down to earth and the work  keeps my mind busy.

Its a little different than the place i worked in NJ but with this place being a little different it opens doors for me to learn new things.

I like learning new things. 

The picture below is a long shot of part of where i work.

I'm was told that i will learn how inserting machines work and tabbing machines too.

These machines were built to last they are old and still run great.

it brings back the old theory of don't replace it fix it.

Its intresting to watch my coworkers work on them.

Hopefully they will train me on them soon.

I'm still getting used to my new hours of starting at either 6am or 7am but its nice that i get out early.

I am getting the impression that the work I'm doing may get my butt in a little better of shape.

You know lifting heavy things and being in motion.  

Its hard work on some days and very repitive but I'm enjoying it so far.

You can tell i have open minded boss' when you look around our building and find fun stuff , sayings and unique art posted all over the work place.

The picture below is over our time clock.

In the smoking area of the warehouse someone took the time to give this old furnace thing a little bit of a personality .

This makes me think of my grandpa on my dads side and makes me smile.

He worked in a printing press and thought paper was gold.

And here i am at work and they have free strips of paper.

I love the little labels all over the place. My favorite is Where we keep the pallets or skids is posted as Skid Row.

Too cute

Below is my general work station. My job title is SORTER

What does a sorter do?

Well mail gets separated by zip code

and when it goes thru the machine and gets all its guts inserted someone has to put it in order and separate the mail by where it is going to and put it in trays to make it easier and faster for the post office to get it from me to you. 

I have to make sure each envelope ends up in the right tray after they come off the conveyor and properly package the trays to go to the post office. 

Sounds easy but most of our jobs are over 200,000 pieces and come off that conveyor fast and you have to make sure each envelope is sealed and the address is displayed properly so the post office can scan the bar codes.  

Below is my favorite strapper machine which saves me time and the pain of having to rubber band things. instead just stick what ever needs to be banded under this machine step on the peddle and shazam.

Its pretty cool. My zipper on my boot kept unzipping the other day and i asked a coworker if i stuck my foot in there could they step on the peddle to strap my shoe together and they did. this completely fixed my problem.

at work i get to day dream of tropical places and sunny days.

Ah how i miss LA and that beautiful sunshine year round.

Thanks to whom ever was amazing enough to spray paint palm trees on our walls.

Even though they dont work there anymore.

i learned the art of handling  paper envelopes and easy ways to keep them nice and straight in bins and to fit the max amount of them into a shipping tray.  

The down side of working with paper is PAPER CUTS!!!!!!!

Paper drys out your skin and can slice you up worse than a cats claws.

Paper cuts are small and quite painful.

Especially when you try to wash your hands with hot water afterwards.

Ive been using painters tape to tape up my fingers since i ran out of band aids.

I'm seriously about to start making band aids a fashion statement as well as maybe even buying stock in band aids.

I have not yet worked a 40 hour week but have come damn close.

In case you didn't know with all these E-checks, E-Bills and E-Mail, The United States Postal Service is slowing start to fade away. A lot of people don't use USPS anymore. More people should start using them to keep me employed and keep me from only aquiring 20 hours a week. . Remember the days when you had to mail letters, bills, post cards, and packages. I still do. Call me old fashioned but i believe in keeping the working class hero's employed.

Some days we have lots of work others we have a little and get sent home early.

I would give anything for over time but will take what i can get and hope for things to pick up.

I really enjoy working with the guy they partnered me up with at work. We work well together, hes fun to chat with and full of all kinds knowledge on history and cool nature spots to check out. We both like staying busy and working hard. When i work with him the day flies by.

The other day We finished our work and asked if there was anything else to do and the boss informed us that the owner is relocating our work space about 7 miles away to a new building and asked if we want to help out with cleaning up the current building and helping with packing and moving. My response was sure i like extra hours and hard work.

I also liked that i only had to drive 20 blocks to get to work, But oh well. 7 extra miles wont kill me.

So me and my partner were asked to start cleaning out the boxes and bins that have been in storage and separate everything in their own bins. 

The metal bin pictured below was so cool to fill up. 

I felt like i was on American pickers. 

With every new box i found myself asking what is this its so cool. 

The picture below has my two favorite items found sitting on top. 

They are old check making machines.  

it was fun getting my hands dirty yet another year digging thru old treasures

forgotten by time.

My boss came up to me the other day and said welcome to the family.

I know i signed papers stating that i am on a 3 month probation. I was a little confused but flattered that my new boss and co workers used the term family.

It almost seems too early for that words to be used. its like saying i love you to a guy on the 2nd date.

I got a strange feeling when i went in for the job, sort of like this was where i was meant to be at this moment in time. Maybe for it to open my eyes to something, or a chance to learn a new trick or trade.

Butto be complimented with a term like that it reassured my gut feeling.

That this was it for now.

Since i am a new hire i have to wait till the 8th of march for my first check which is OK by me its just how life goes when your company pays bi weekly.

Upon handing out pay checks my boss told me she was sorry she didn't have one for me yet but told me she has a surprise for me.

The first day i was hired i was given a locker and was told that in two weeks from my start date if i was doing a good job they would put my name on my locker.

Well instead of a pay check it became official i have my name on my locker which makes me feel a little more like i belong there.  I think.

I'm still not sure what I'm destined to be when i grow up. or where i belong in this society.

But what i do know is Ive made it this far and everything that i have done has lead me to this moment in time.

Some days i feel like i made a wrong turn and ended up here and others i feel like I'm Right where i belong.

Its official Brian is now the big 34 and if i may say so has made so much progress in life in the past year.

I'm very proud of my husband.

I even made him this wonderful birthday card.

Even tho he was a pain in the butt the days leading up to his birthday.

I give him alot of credit for growing up but i sometimes still feel like im mothering a grown man.

Shesh boys why dont they mature as quick as women.

I even waited up for him that night to surprise him with a birthday pizza and beer.

I see blue skies in our future, which i hear is rare in Portland but I'm not complaining.

Good things are going to start happening, I know they are.

I'm not asking to be rich but just comfortable and Happy.

I hope that isn't too much to expect from life.

Ive been thinking alot about what happiness is to me.

I have realized I don't need to go out all the time (and cant afford to) but happiness is found in other places.

I have sort of been laying low.

Happiness to me right now would be me being able to pull my own weight with the bills.

Im so used to being the one supporting everyone else. It doesnt feel right to not be the bread bearer of the house hold. But in due time maybe i will feel useful again.

The other night I decided it would be nice to have girls night at home with Danielle.

I really enjoyed my time with her while the boys went out.

Danielle is  so adorably pregnant and due any day now and i couldn't be more excited.

I am not going to lie I'm a little jealous that she is going to be a mom but at the same time I'm excited that i get to be an aunt.

I felt like a pain asking her so many questions about her pregnancy and what its like having a human growing in your belly.

She was really cute and seemed OK with answering my questions.

I find pregnancy fascinating. One day i would  love the chance to be a mom but i know with mine and Brian's current situation and just getting on our feet in a new state on our own far away from family,that isn't what we should be focused on at the moment. But who knows maybe we can try one day later down the road.

One thing i find so interesting about Danielle having a baby is she isn't having her daughter the traditional way. You know Lamaze and in a hospital.

She is doing an at home birth and has been doing hipno birthing classes.

which are more about meditating to get past the contractions.  

Back home No one speaks of such things.

I really hope she goes into labor soon.

Below is a picture of her resting her tea cup on her belly.

Besides chatting about pregancy and mother hood we had a fun night playing real scrabble, watching comedy shows

and putting together puzzles of puppies.

It was nice to get to spend the evening with her considering since brian and i moved to portland its always been me her and the boys. Dont get me wrong i love shawn, zay, and the rest of the boys like family but it was nice to have just girl time with my long time friend.

Ive been doing alot of research of roads to travel down in life.

and things to focus on to better my chances of surving the future.

I started by creating a Budget book. I basically mapped out all of our bills till january and factored in putting money into savings basically based off brians pay checks.

I even went as far as to write our weekly minimuns to pay bills on every friday on all the calendars so brian knows what we need to cover the bills.

This book will hopefully keep us on track.

After Budgeting I decided maybe i should go back to making lists of things that i need to do so i can cross them off one by one and see my progress.

This always kept me motivated and i think i need to go back to doing it.

No matter how simple the task may seem like making lunch for work the next day it is still an acomplishment if i complete it and can cross it off.

Next step is to start making lists of long term goals and see how many of them i can complete.

But in the mean time

Doesnt my kitchen look nice all cleaned up and bleached.

Its nice to stop and take a break from the chaos in life and have light saber fights over skype with my favorite kids back in NJ. Awe how i miss them. Its always nice to get to hang out with them on skype. Even tho skyping with Ariana usually has the same affect on her as sugar. She is so cute bouncing around all over the place like a cute gummy bear.

Its also nice to take a nice quite dinner break for a bean burger and a beer after a long hard day at work with Tiffany.

Thank god O'Briens wont slip roofies in my drink. #win for a unique sign

Its been really hard to go to bed at a normal hour to get enough sleep to be up for work at either 4am or 5am. My usual routine is wake at 5am do what i need to do go to work, come home hang with brian for a few and then pass out on the couch and wake around 8 or 9 pm frantic thinking im late for work.

I think if i fill the house with good for me food and start eating meat again i will regain the energy to push myself a little more and longer in the day.

My body is still getting use to working again and my hands are swollen and every muscle and bone in my body hurt. But I know i can do this and regain my strength and find more energy to be more useful with the time i have in the day.

Ive been looking into different certification courses i can take to make myself more valueable to a company.

Weather i use them right now or not it will feel good to know they are there for a back up plan incase shit hits the fan one day and we need a back up plan in life.

I value every day regardless of how hard it may be.

And Yes im guilty of complaining, But in the end i value the lessons i have leaned and am learning from each struggle we deal with.

Step one was Finding a place we wanted to be. Check

Step two was finding a way to survive and support our selves.

We both have employment now so i guess thats a good start for the moment

Step three is saving and becoming established.

After I get a few pay checks this too will be possiable.

Step four make a plan for the future and stick to it.

and from there Im sure we will figure the rest out as we go.

I am thinking one day i would like to obtain my CDL considering I LOVE to drive.

Maybe with a CDL i could drive a tour bus one day.

i would also like to take a CPR course

Maybe a course in fork lift opperation  just cause i think it would be rad to be a woman who can drive a fork lift.

A few safety courses

as well as a flagger course or two.

I hear flaggers make decent money and due to the EOE they have to hire women on construction sites.

Maybe one day go back to school to finnish my degree in Marketing arts and design.

And Finnish up my Studio Lighting courses.

And who knows what else may come to mind.

I miss studying and having school asignments.

Yeah yeah yeah i know i wasnt much into school when i was in school. 

I swore My tips from the bars and my photography pay would never run dry.

 but when you grow up things change and you realize things you couldnt see before.

I figure im only a year from finnishing paying off my original student loans in full.

Which is a huge acomplishment considering i was behind on them by three years when i started repaying them again. Boy can intrest hurt your pockets.

Maybe once they are paid in full  i should put a few dollars a side to further my eduication a little more down the road.

Alot of teachers in school said i would never amount to much of anything.

I think i have acomplished more then anyone could have imagined in the 30 years ive been on this earth and am not stopping there.

Ye with little faith Guess what

People said i wouldnt survive Los Angeles, I went out there and did my best and survived on my own for over 6 years. Rarely asked for help unless i needed a couch to sleep on.

And Yet i Acomplished great things.

I was told a little girl like me couldnt drive cross country by her self.

Guess what i did it more than 5 times solo and many more times with brian in the passanger seat.

And since he doesnt drive the miles i have with the peddle to the metal are pretty large. 

PS I dont believe in cruise control.  

People said moving back to NJ and marrying Brian was a bad decision and it wouldnt last and id never leave NJ again.

Umm guess what 3 years later we are still married and are learning we make a pretty good team and have moved  out of NJ.

Then people said that we wouldnt last more than 3 months on our own when we left NJ.

Yes it been a bumpy road so far and we couldnt have made it this far with out a little help from our friends and family. But it has been 7 months since we drove into the sunset leaving everything we knew behind in NJ.

I still struggle with a guilt of leaving my family behind in NJ but they understand that we had to see what else the world offered us outside of that tiny little state that is an over crowed cancer factory and falling apart.

We are the type of people who if you told us the world was flat we would have to see it for our selves.

If you told me the stove was hot i would have to feel for myself and if you told me i couldnt do something i would do my best to show you i could.

I have issues with the thought of what could have been.

People often ask me if i regret leaving LA, or Leaving NJ.

I dont like the word regret. 

I love the following mark twain quote  

and live my life by it every day.

Growing up i heard alot of I wish i did this different or I wish i could have did this or that.

I made it my mission to live out all of my moms dreams that she never got to as well as my own and to never  have the option of disapointment cause i didnt take that chance to do what ever it was that i had in my head that i wanted to do.

I take full responsibility for my choice of which road to take and it was usually the one less traveled.  

Where there is a will there is a way.

Most of my adventures and my leaps of faith have used up my last penny and left me at square one on many occasions. I do not regret this at all. Im sure ive already made my first million in life and spent it all with out knowing or even batting an eyelash along the way.

And am left with nothing to show besides great stories and alot of life experience.

Tho the struggle never gets easier it sure does make me stronger.

Till next time Thank you for reading. And my blogs are only going to get more honest from here on out.

Im going to open up a bit about my past, where my head is at the present, and what i hope for in the future.  

Like a pheonix i shall rise from the ashes and will be reborn over and over again.