Well Hello again. Fancy meeting you here again.

Life has been pretty swell lately.

Ive been learning new things, Thinking positive, Working my butt off and planning for the future.

I started my new job at the mail house here in Portland. I like it so far.

The people seem pretty down to earth and the work  keeps my mind busy.

Its a little different than the place i worked in NJ but with this place being a little different it opens doors for me to learn new things.

I like learning new things. 

The picture below is a long shot of part of where i work.

I'm was told that i will learn how inserting machines work and tabbing machines too.

These machines were built to last they are old and still run great.

it brings back the old theory of don't replace it fix it.

Its intresting to watch my coworkers work on them.

Hopefully they will train me on them soon.

I'm still getting used to my new hours of starting at either 6am or 7am but its nice that i get out early.

I am getting the impression that the work I'm doing may get my butt in a little better of shape.

You know lifting heavy things and being in motion.  

Its hard work on some days and very repitive but I'm enjoying it so far.

You can tell i have open minded boss' when you look around our building and find fun stuff , sayings and unique art posted all over the work place.

The picture below is over our time clock.

In the smoking area of the warehouse someone took the time to give this old furnace thing a little bit of a personality .

This makes me think of my grandpa on my dads side and makes me smile.

He worked in a printing press and thought paper was gold.

And here i am at work and they have free strips of paper.

I love the little labels all over the place. My favorite is Where we keep the pallets or skids is posted as Skid Row.

Too cute

Below is my general work station. My job title is SORTER

What does a sorter do?

Well mail gets separated by zip code

and when it goes thru the machine and gets all its guts inserted someone has to put it in order and separate the mail by where it is going to and put it in trays to make it easier and faster for the post office to get it from me to you. 

I have to make sure each envelope ends up in the right tray after they come off the conveyor and properly package the trays to go to the post office. 

Sounds easy but most of our jobs are over 200,000 pieces and come off that conveyor fast and you have to make sure each envelope is sealed and the address is displayed properly so the post office can scan the bar codes.  

Below is my favorite strapper machine which saves me time and the pain of having to rubber band things. instead just stick what ever needs to be banded under this machine step on the peddle and shazam.

Its pretty cool. My zipper on my boot kept unzipping the other day and i asked a coworker if i stuck my foot in there could they step on the peddle to strap my shoe together and they did. this completely fixed my problem.

at work i get to day dream of tropical places and sunny days.

Ah how i miss LA and that beautiful sunshine year round.

Thanks to whom ever was amazing enough to spray paint palm trees on our walls.

Even though they dont work there anymore.

i learned the art of handling  paper envelopes and easy ways to keep them nice and straight in bins and to fit the max amount of them into a shipping tray.  

The down side of working with paper is PAPER CUTS!!!!!!!

Paper drys out your skin and can slice you up worse than a cats claws.

Paper cuts are small and quite painful.

Especially when you try to wash your hands with hot water afterwards.

Ive been using painters tape to tape up my fingers since i ran out of band aids.

I'm seriously about to start making band aids a fashion statement as well as maybe even buying stock in band aids.

I have not yet worked a 40 hour week but have come damn close.

In case you didn't know with all these E-checks, E-Bills and E-Mail, The United States Postal Service is slowing start to fade away. A lot of people don't use USPS anymore. More people should start using them to keep me employed and keep me from only aquiring 20 hours a week. . Remember the days when you had to mail letters, bills, post cards, and packages. I still do. Call me old fashioned but i believe in keeping the working class hero's employed.

Some days we have lots of work others we have a little and get sent home early.

I would give anything for over time but will take what i can get and hope for things to pick up.

I really enjoy working with the guy they partnered me up with at work. We work well together, hes fun to chat with and full of all kinds knowledge on history and cool nature spots to check out. We both like staying busy and working hard. When i work with him the day flies by.

The other day We finished our work and asked if there was anything else to do and the boss informed us that the owner is relocating our work space about 7 miles away to a new building and asked if we want to help out with cleaning up the current building and helping with packing and moving. My response was sure i like extra hours and hard work.

I also liked that i only had to drive 20 blocks to get to work, But oh well. 7 extra miles wont kill me.

So me and my partner were asked to start cleaning out the boxes and bins that have been in storage and separate everything in their own bins. 

The metal bin pictured below was so cool to fill up. 

I felt like i was on American pickers. 

With every new box i found myself asking what is this its so cool. 

The picture below has my two favorite items found sitting on top. 

They are old check making machines.  

it was fun getting my hands dirty yet another year digging thru old treasures

forgotten by time.

My boss came up to me the other day and said welcome to the family.

I know i signed papers stating that i am on a 3 month probation. I was a little confused but flattered that my new boss and co workers used the term family.

It almost seems too early for that words to be used. its like saying i love you to a guy on the 2nd date.

I got a strange feeling when i went in for the job, sort of like this was where i was meant to be at this moment in time. Maybe for it to open my eyes to something, or a chance to learn a new trick or trade.

Butto be complimented with a term like that it reassured my gut feeling.

That this was it for now.

Since i am a new hire i have to wait till the 8th of march for my first check which is OK by me its just how life goes when your company pays bi weekly.

Upon handing out pay checks my boss told me she was sorry she didn't have one for me yet but told me she has a surprise for me.

The first day i was hired i was given a locker and was told that in two weeks from my start date if i was doing a good job they would put my name on my locker.

Well instead of a pay check it became official i have my name on my locker which makes me feel a little more like i belong there.  I think.

I'm still not sure what I'm destined to be when i grow up. or where i belong in this society.

But what i do know is Ive made it this far and everything that i have done has lead me to this moment in time.

Some days i feel like i made a wrong turn and ended up here and others i feel like I'm Right where i belong.

Its official Brian is now the big 34 and if i may say so has made so much progress in life in the past year.

I'm very proud of my husband.

I even made him this wonderful birthday card.

Even tho he was a pain in the butt the days leading up to his birthday.

I give him alot of credit for growing up but i sometimes still feel like im mothering a grown man.

Shesh boys why dont they mature as quick as women.

I even waited up for him that night to surprise him with a birthday pizza and beer.

I see blue skies in our future, which i hear is rare in Portland but I'm not complaining.

Good things are going to start happening, I know they are.

I'm not asking to be rich but just comfortable and Happy.

I hope that isn't too much to expect from life.

Ive been thinking alot about what happiness is to me.

I have realized I don't need to go out all the time (and cant afford to) but happiness is found in other places.

I have sort of been laying low.

Happiness to me right now would be me being able to pull my own weight with the bills.

Im so used to being the one supporting everyone else. It doesnt feel right to not be the bread bearer of the house hold. But in due time maybe i will feel useful again.

The other night I decided it would be nice to have girls night at home with Danielle.

I really enjoyed my time with her while the boys went out.

Danielle is  so adorably pregnant and due any day now and i couldn't be more excited.

I am not going to lie I'm a little jealous that she is going to be a mom but at the same time I'm excited that i get to be an aunt.

I felt like a pain asking her so many questions about her pregnancy and what its like having a human growing in your belly.

She was really cute and seemed OK with answering my questions.

I find pregnancy fascinating. One day i would  love the chance to be a mom but i know with mine and Brian's current situation and just getting on our feet in a new state on our own far away from family,that isn't what we should be focused on at the moment. But who knows maybe we can try one day later down the road.

One thing i find so interesting about Danielle having a baby is she isn't having her daughter the traditional way. You know Lamaze and in a hospital.

She is doing an at home birth and has been doing hipno birthing classes.

which are more about meditating to get past the contractions.  

Back home No one speaks of such things.

I really hope she goes into labor soon.

Below is a picture of her resting her tea cup on her belly.

Besides chatting about pregancy and mother hood we had a fun night playing real scrabble, watching comedy shows

and putting together puzzles of puppies.

It was nice to get to spend the evening with her considering since brian and i moved to portland its always been me her and the boys. Dont get me wrong i love shawn, zay, and the rest of the boys like family but it was nice to have just girl time with my long time friend.

Ive been doing alot of research of roads to travel down in life.

and things to focus on to better my chances of surving the future.

I started by creating a Budget book. I basically mapped out all of our bills till january and factored in putting money into savings basically based off brians pay checks.

I even went as far as to write our weekly minimuns to pay bills on every friday on all the calendars so brian knows what we need to cover the bills.

This book will hopefully keep us on track.

After Budgeting I decided maybe i should go back to making lists of things that i need to do so i can cross them off one by one and see my progress.

This always kept me motivated and i think i need to go back to doing it.

No matter how simple the task may seem like making lunch for work the next day it is still an acomplishment if i complete it and can cross it off.

Next step is to start making lists of long term goals and see how many of them i can complete.

But in the mean time

Doesnt my kitchen look nice all cleaned up and bleached.

Its nice to stop and take a break from the chaos in life and have light saber fights over skype with my favorite kids back in NJ. Awe how i miss them. Its always nice to get to hang out with them on skype. Even tho skyping with Ariana usually has the same affect on her as sugar. She is so cute bouncing around all over the place like a cute gummy bear.

Its also nice to take a nice quite dinner break for a bean burger and a beer after a long hard day at work with Tiffany.

Thank god O'Briens wont slip roofies in my drink. #win for a unique sign

Its been really hard to go to bed at a normal hour to get enough sleep to be up for work at either 4am or 5am. My usual routine is wake at 5am do what i need to do go to work, come home hang with brian for a few and then pass out on the couch and wake around 8 or 9 pm frantic thinking im late for work.

I think if i fill the house with good for me food and start eating meat again i will regain the energy to push myself a little more and longer in the day.

My body is still getting use to working again and my hands are swollen and every muscle and bone in my body hurt. But I know i can do this and regain my strength and find more energy to be more useful with the time i have in the day.

Ive been looking into different certification courses i can take to make myself more valueable to a company.

Weather i use them right now or not it will feel good to know they are there for a back up plan incase shit hits the fan one day and we need a back up plan in life.

I value every day regardless of how hard it may be.

And Yes im guilty of complaining, But in the end i value the lessons i have leaned and am learning from each struggle we deal with.

Step one was Finding a place we wanted to be. Check

Step two was finding a way to survive and support our selves.

We both have employment now so i guess thats a good start for the moment

Step three is saving and becoming established.

After I get a few pay checks this too will be possiable.

Step four make a plan for the future and stick to it.

and from there Im sure we will figure the rest out as we go.

I am thinking one day i would like to obtain my CDL considering I LOVE to drive.

Maybe with a CDL i could drive a tour bus one day.

i would also like to take a CPR course

Maybe a course in fork lift opperation  just cause i think it would be rad to be a woman who can drive a fork lift.

A few safety courses

as well as a flagger course or two.

I hear flaggers make decent money and due to the EOE they have to hire women on construction sites.

Maybe one day go back to school to finnish my degree in Marketing arts and design.

And Finnish up my Studio Lighting courses.

And who knows what else may come to mind.

I miss studying and having school asignments.

Yeah yeah yeah i know i wasnt much into school when i was in school. 

I swore My tips from the bars and my photography pay would never run dry.

 but when you grow up things change and you realize things you couldnt see before.

I figure im only a year from finnishing paying off my original student loans in full.

Which is a huge acomplishment considering i was behind on them by three years when i started repaying them again. Boy can intrest hurt your pockets.

Maybe once they are paid in full  i should put a few dollars a side to further my eduication a little more down the road.

Alot of teachers in school said i would never amount to much of anything.

I think i have acomplished more then anyone could have imagined in the 30 years ive been on this earth and am not stopping there.

Ye with little faith Guess what

People said i wouldnt survive Los Angeles, I went out there and did my best and survived on my own for over 6 years. Rarely asked for help unless i needed a couch to sleep on.

And Yet i Acomplished great things.

I was told a little girl like me couldnt drive cross country by her self.

Guess what i did it more than 5 times solo and many more times with brian in the passanger seat.

And since he doesnt drive the miles i have with the peddle to the metal are pretty large. 

PS I dont believe in cruise control.  

People said moving back to NJ and marrying Brian was a bad decision and it wouldnt last and id never leave NJ again.

Umm guess what 3 years later we are still married and are learning we make a pretty good team and have moved  out of NJ.

Then people said that we wouldnt last more than 3 months on our own when we left NJ.

Yes it been a bumpy road so far and we couldnt have made it this far with out a little help from our friends and family. But it has been 7 months since we drove into the sunset leaving everything we knew behind in NJ.

I still struggle with a guilt of leaving my family behind in NJ but they understand that we had to see what else the world offered us outside of that tiny little state that is an over crowed cancer factory and falling apart.

We are the type of people who if you told us the world was flat we would have to see it for our selves.

If you told me the stove was hot i would have to feel for myself and if you told me i couldnt do something i would do my best to show you i could.

I have issues with the thought of what could have been.

People often ask me if i regret leaving LA, or Leaving NJ.

I dont like the word regret. 

I love the following mark twain quote  

and live my life by it every day.

Growing up i heard alot of I wish i did this different or I wish i could have did this or that.

I made it my mission to live out all of my moms dreams that she never got to as well as my own and to never  have the option of disapointment cause i didnt take that chance to do what ever it was that i had in my head that i wanted to do.

I take full responsibility for my choice of which road to take and it was usually the one less traveled.  

Where there is a will there is a way.

Most of my adventures and my leaps of faith have used up my last penny and left me at square one on many occasions. I do not regret this at all. Im sure ive already made my first million in life and spent it all with out knowing or even batting an eyelash along the way.

And am left with nothing to show besides great stories and alot of life experience.

Tho the struggle never gets easier it sure does make me stronger.

Till next time Thank you for reading. And my blogs are only going to get more honest from here on out.

Im going to open up a bit about my past, where my head is at the present, and what i hope for in the future.  

Like a pheonix i shall rise from the ashes and will be reborn over and over again.

Making the IMPOSSIBLE .... POSSIBLE

Why Hello again.

Hope your week has been as Wonderful, Strange, Inspirational, Educational, Magical, and filled with amazing things as mine has.

Everything in life happens for a reason and I'm starting to believe that more and more.

Some times you just need to find that special something inside you and run full force into the unknown with no fear of failure.

I do this quite often and it usually takes me to intresting places.

Today's blog comes with a bit of adventure, a little journey down my road of soul searching, Trying to figure out where i belong and which road i wanted to venture down based on my past experiences, a few fun events, Beauty, And so much more.

I realized i needed to stop dwelling on things and It was time to make things happen for myself.

In my last blog i mentioned i put a resume in at a local print house in N Portland for a mail room position.

Unfortunately they were looking for a machine operator/ mechanic. My qualifications didn't make me a likely candidate. No Biggie there has to be a perfect place of employment out there for me.

Don't you go giving up on me quite yet cause i am far from giving up and the story is just beginning.

I decided my best approach to this would be to take the advice of the quote below.

Brian and i decided maybe a mini adventure was in order to get out of the city and clear our minds and enjoy a little nature.

We hopped in the car and headed east on 84 i saw a sign for a back road and figured lets travel off the beaten path today and i quickly turned off that exit.

Beautiful waterfalls, rivers, trees, hiking trails, and curvy back woods roads awaited us.

Oregon has many many beautiful waterfalls, Lush green forests that remind me of fern gully.

We drove for a wile passing close to 8 waterfalls.

Sorry for the lack of pictures of the waterfalls but i promise there are many other pictures to come for you to enjoy.

Farther down the road i pulled off to a day parking lot by a hiking trail and opened the door and let Brian run free in nature while i wandered around at my own speed.

I did however catch him wandering over the suspension bridge into the forest.

I couldn't have asked for a nicer day.

After wandering in the woods for a bit we headed over to the Gorge to wander the PCT for a bit and to grab a small snack. We also found This beautiful Sacajawea Statue facing west by the river. It was quite a magical day. And not yet over.

Upon returning to Portland i dropped Brian off at home and went to meet with my friend Tiffany for Girls night out.

We went out for sushi. I am such a cheap date when it comes to sushi. My 1/2 of the bill usually comes to around $5 to $10 tops. Yummm

After Sushi we ventured Back to Tiffany's Condo and decided to check out the indoor pool.

We hung out in the jacuzzi for a bit then decided to be silly and swim laps and race back and forth under water in the pool. It was so much fun. After our swim we ventured into the ladies room to change and i noticed to lights on the wall with a timer. I questioned if those lights were what i suspected they were? I turned the knob and WHAM Yup It was the strangest tanning set up i had ever seen. Of course we couldn't resist the photo ops while trying to avoid the Possibility of getting a fake tan.

The next day Was Danielle's Baby shower. I showed up early to help her get everything ready for the rest of her guests to arrive. The venue was pretty.

It was nice to meet some of her other friends.

Shawn and Danielle were spoiled with tons of amazing gifts for their soon to be born little girl.

I fail at taking pictures at her baby shower but i know soon enough pictures taken by her other friends will be emerging on Facebook. 

I did however snap a picture of the plastic babies and candy on each table with my phone. 

But for the most part it was dark and due to lack of flash on my phone i couldnt get alot of pics. 

The picture below is of Danielle taken by a local Photographer AmbeRed.

Danielle is perfectly 9 months pregnant in this picture and all baby.

I could only wish that if i ever have a child that i can look that good at 9 months.

And yes i did ask Danielle permission to use this picture.

I cant wait to meet Raven the beautiful lil girl in her belly.

She is due any day now.

Even tho I'm not blood related I'm excited to be an aunt.

After the baby shower I helped Load up the car with all the fun baby stuff she received and cleaned up the Venue. From there Danielle and I headed back to her place unloaded everything into the babies room and went to grab a bite.

Shawn and the Rest of the guys from Alabama Black Snake were Playing a show that night so after dinner we decided to go check out their set.

The Bar they played reminded me of CBGB's a little bit just lacking the NYC Punk and Hardcore History.

Below is a picture i took in the bathroom mirror at the club. Sort of a distorted view of me.

Turns out on Monday nights the EAST END Has Metal Night and its $2 for 2 bands that go head to head and are judged on Riffage, Style, and many other things.

Alabama Black Snake Rocked the House.

They played an amazing set and had changed a few songs around and it blew my mind.

This may have been the best set i had heard and seen them play yet.

I'm convinced they need to record a new Demo. 

They have grown so much in the past 6 months and the addition of their new singer and second guitar player Brian really was what they needed. 

Just the whole flow of their talents combined amazes me.  

I really wish my husband Brian would realize that our super secret friendship rings don't give us mind reading powers.

But as every day passes i realize i married the man who has grown to become my  best friend.

He doesnt judge me. He tolerates my insanity. And he understands im not perfect. 

After all the excitement of the past few days i decided it was time to put the peddle to the metal and get things done.

Time to chase the rainbow. Hopefully my plans and dreams down end up down the drain like the rainbow oil slick i found. in my parking lot.

I have a habit of expecting the best and thinking to positive that i set myself up for major let downs.

Damn me for being an overly positive Panda.

I decided since The first Job i was hopeful about wasn't a perfect fit for me,

It was time to try the other 3 that i hand picked considering my small amount of work experience on the books that i could actually put on paper, with high hopes.

Turns out real jobs dont see being a once sucessful photographer as a Solid job on a resume. 

Just then i got a call from a temp agency that i had been hounding for weeks looking for leads on employment called they had a job looking for an employee in air freight and wanted my permission to send over my resume. I said sure why not. 

In the mean time i got all dressed up in my business suit that i bought for a court date when i was 17.

The jacket still fit but the pants had to be replaced for a bigger size. Damn you hips, Butt, and thighs.  

I Printed out my revised Resume, Cover Letter, and Letter of Recommendation.

And off i went. I was confident, and had it in my mind i was coming home with a promise of employment. 

The first Place i went was a mail room on our side of town. I got to meet with a lady who told me i picked perfect timing to walk thru their door. Turns out she had to make a decision on an employee to fill a position that day. I chatted with her for a little while and filled out an application.

Explained my experience in this field and got a quick rundown of the position offered.

I left there feeling very confident that i would hear back from this lady in the next few days.

Her questions after interving me for the job included does cursing bother you?

My response where i come from in NJ they use curses for commas.

Second question are you a smoker?

UM YES

she said great you will fit in perfectly.

From there i headed to the second place on my list of places i would love to work.

The woman i needed to speak to was in a meeting so i left my resume with the lady at the front desk.

The third place was a little over 45 minutes away and i decided to call and see if they were looking to grow their team. They said no so i scratched that one off my list and headed home.

My gut was telling me i may soon have a job.

The next morning i got a call from the temp agency that i had a phone interview at the air freight company for customer service.

Now my mom works in air freight and there is money to be made in it and i have nothing against it,

 But i believe my mom fell into air freight and was a single mother and sort of got stuck in it. 

Don't get me wrong she is damn good at her job and she is grateful to have fallen into the industry to support me and herself but i really had my heart set on working in a mail room and learning machines and one day possibly in 3 or so years moving up to learning professional off set photo and running print machines.

Or doing screen printing or something artistic again. 

But i did the phone interview and gave it my all.

Then i received an email from job 2 that they could only offer me part time at the moment but would like to meet with me.

From the static in my hair and the quick responses from these companies I'm starting to think I'm Electric Today.

I decided since I'm on a roll why not try my hand with our taxes and see how much we will be getting back so i can try to make a dent in my evil evil student loans.

Upon finishing our Federal Tax return papers, I realized that there was a light at the end of the dark dark tunnel and after we give the full amount of our return to student loans that I'm only 8-21 months away from having them fully paid off depending on the amount i can afford to send.

 That is something i thought was IMPOSSIBLE.

I feel so close yet so far still.

 But 8- 21 months is better than 5-10 years i guess.

A few days ago Brian and i got a small chicken for dinner and Brian saved the wish bone for me.

We decided to see who got the bigger side and test the theory that wishes can come true.

The next morning I woke to an array of phone calls all of them great news.

Job offers usually come to me in groups of two or three and that didn't fail me this time.

The first call was from The Mail Room job offering me around 36 hours a week and a pay rate that would help us make ends meet and allow us to pay off a few things in due time and still save a few dollars.

This job was also on my side of town less than 20 blocks away and told me they would like to eventually train me on machines and their computers.

I get to wear jeans, T-shirts, Hoodies, and boots or tennis shoes to work too.

I felt that this job would be a great match for what i was looking for and the people i was introduced to at the job seemed like a great crew to work with.

But i have to remember people also like to candy coat things to reel you in.

BUT

 i accepted the Offer anyway.

They told me that they looked forward to me starting Monday morning at 7am.

An hour later i got a call from the temp agency offering me employment at the Air Freight company. Now the pay there was $1 more an hour but also 35 minutes farther from home and i didn't get the same warm feeling about the place as i did with the mail room.

Then i received an email from the second place i dropped my resume off with an offer for 20 hours a week which i had to turn down.

I'm beyond honored that 3 different companies were interested in adding me to their team.

But in the end I am excited I chose the one i did and cant wait to start on Monday morning.

Brian's Birthday is creeping up on us. He will be the big 34 on Friday.

He keeps mentioning that due to his work schedule he doesn't get to have guys night out often.

I mentioned this to a few of our friends and we came up with the idea to surprise Brian with a guys night out at devils point as a mini surprise Early birthday gathering.

We figured that he would never expect anything to happen a week early and with Daniele's due date creeping up we figured it would be nice if Shawn and Danielle could be there to celebrate Brian's birthday with him.

I'm sorry i didn't take a million pictures of the night but it is a strip club n they have rules against cameras and

i was just trying to enjoy the evening and am still mad at my camera.

Brian of course got a delicious Red Velvet cake his favorite.

He even got to make a wish. I hope what ever it was comes true.

He deserves it.

He was so grateful that Danielle and the guys came out to celebrate with him.

The night was filled with Laughs, Beers, Boobs and Bread.

Due to how busy the bar was we decided to enjoy the cake outside.

I'm happy everyone was able to make it Devils Point

He truly loves that bar. I was a little sad that one of my two favorite ladies wasn't working that night but we still had a great night.

Brian is super stoked over his birthday present a new rain shell jacket.

It surprisingly fits him perfect.

And he has a new rain jacket to use to ride his bike to work regardless of the weather and can stay dry.

and he can stop depending so much on me.

Last night i had the weirdest dreams that i was late for work and i woke every hour realizing i was dreaming.

So Weird.

Once getting out of my bed and moving to the couch i decided i had a hot snuggle date with my Panda blanket my aunt Lynn gave me for Xmas on the couch while watching my favorite movie Pay it Forward

In turn i ended up sleeping a lot longer than expected once i snuggled up on the couch and it sunk in that it was Sunday and i had till at least noon to rest. That turned into alot later than i could have expected.

Once fully awake I decided to indulge in a little Coffee Ice Cream with typing up This blog entry.

Wow i don't know if it has completely sunk in that i get to start a new job tomorrow.

I'm excited but at the same time a little nervous.

Did i make the right choice out of the three job offers?

The hardest part of this is going to be shifting my hours back to normal people hours instead of Brian's grave yard shift hours but I'm confident that i can do it.

And I am going to be AWESOME at it.

Its going to be weird working opposite hours from Brian but i also see it helping us to be more grateful of the time we do get to spend together.

It will give us time to mature in our own ways and maybe in due time his job will convert his work hours to allow us to spend more time together. I'm not stressing. Life has a way of working its self out in weird ways for great reasons.

I have a feeling that more amazing things are going to start happening in the next few months.

I plan on proving that what some think is completely

IMPOSSIBLE 

Truly is 

POSSIBLE

WE will continue to beat the odds and Like a pair of  Phoenixes  

WE will continue to grow and Succeed  

I promise to continue Updating and sharing our story with you all.

I keep battleing with the idea of opening up  and sharing my past and my journey to where i am today with you all.

But im not sure you are ready for that tornado just yet.

I have started typeing up the book i keep mentioning.

The names of the guilty will be changed including my own.

It will be a no hold barred book of the full turth.

Its time to let the skeletons out of the closet and make peace with myself

But telling the whole truth.

But till my next update here is a question to ask yourself.  

Till next time.

Thank you for taking the time to read and follow our journey thus far. 

I'm off to sleep to be well rested for my 1st day of work at Mail room Ville Portland.

LOL for some sad reason i think only Adrienne back in NJ will get that reference But Thank you again.