Time to turn the page.

Hello again. 

I know most of you are waiting for a profound long novel of where my head has been and so on and so forth.

Or maybe a run down of what my daily last days have been like. 

Or Maybe You were expecting tons of pictures of my amazing friends here. 

Well i wrote all of those blogs over the past few days and almost published them but they didn't feel right so i then DELETED them. 

Poof Gone lost to the inter web grave yard of things to never be read by anyone but well i guess me cause i had to read them each once. 

Anyway.

With this blog lets play a game...

I promise it will be fun....

After i say Cue music you stop for a second and click the music video below the words Cue music.....

You don't have to listen to the whole song but just a smidgen. 

(Oh whats the worst that can happen you discover a new song you never knew you liked or maybe you use your sense of hearing to feel what i was feeling when i wrote this that prompted me to pick that song?  AHHH GIVE IT A TRY)

It is now 9am on July 19th and i should be loading my car, or taking a shower, or even enjoying my morning coffee with a cigarette with courtney on the back porch getting ready for this drive. 

But it hasn't sunk in yet that I'm moving away. 

Yes Courtney flew in from NJ, But it just feels like she's visiting me in the city i live in.

Yes we loaded my life into 2 cars and palletized it to be shipped to LA, but it still doesn't seem real.

I had the most amazing Last night out in Portland with some really amazing friends. 

Actually some of the most amazing friends a girl could ever ask for, That didn't make it sink in. 

But as i typed that last line Tears formed in my eyes. 

And maybe that made it a little more real. 

What a difference a day makes. 

Cue the music...... LOL. 

 

Yesterday i was very unmotivated to do anything. 

I should have been packing and all kinds of things.

But instead i drove around town by myself listening to music.

with a few tear drops falling from my eyes from time to time. 

Were they sad tears? I don't know. 

I was very emotional for some weird reason. 

Its crazy to think I started this blog almost a year ago. July 25th which is right around the corner. 

And that is so true. Who would have thought i would have been sitting here on Danielle and Shawn's floor Typing my last Blog entry before leaving Portland.

Who would have ever thought i would be getting divorced. 

Or any of the other insanity. 

People keep assuming I'm running away.

Maybe i am in a way, But in my mind I'm running towards a new bright adventure. 

I know i complain a lot about Portland and the gloom.

But in reality i discovered there really are some amazing things about this city.

And the most amazing thing about it is the People i know here.

The people i call my Friends. 

And i don't want them to feel like I'm running from them. 

A lot of people are blaming The ex husband for me running away.

Well maybe i partially am running from him cause it hurts to chance running into him.

But maybe i need to stop dwelling on the things that didn't work and oh yeah HIM. 

But upon driving home from a friends house late one night This song came on the radio and it felt like someone flipped a switch in my mind. 

And you know what i decided I DONT CARE ANYMORE. 

Cue music ....

He can have his new life with his new future wife and maybe they deserve each other. 

(And no they aren't getting married it just rhymed so i went with it,)

My theory is ................

Guess what she did give up. And I'm sure one day she will find that someone better.

BUt Until then..... She will find herself and Love herself and be surrounded by amazing friends who make her smile. 

Heck if you ask me I have the most amazing friends anyone in their right mind could ask for.

And i love the fact that during the past few weeks i have had the honor to add a few new names on that list. YOu all know who you are and I'm happy our paths have crossed and i hope we never lose touch. 

ANd honestly I will come back to visit from time to time.

I always have and i always will. 

I just need to keep remembering 

Everyone keeps asking if there is any new man in my life. 

I feel i need to find and be me for a bit and see where life takes me. 

No need to get my mind wrapped up in a MAN.

I feel I should take this whole dating thing a little slow and If I have met  Mr right already, well then he will understand i need this time for me and maybe he will still be here when the timing is right.

So I'm going to answer that question and say There are a lot of really amazing men in my life but for now i call them all FRIENDS. 

and not quite the kind with benefits.

I can't bring myself to do what the ex did and jump in the water head first and get involved that quickly. 

Sorry but to each their own. 

But who ever is next will be a lot more of a positive thinking person who will share a lot of the same interests and beliefs and maybe even curiosities as i do.

But enough about that. Im about to embark on a journey. one where no one really knows where it will take me. 

Yes Huntington Beach CA is the final destination of this road trip but,

 This is where the next chapter of this book i call my life begins. 

Its time to

Its time to seize the day. 

And..... LIVE FOR BETTER DAYS

Cue music again. ..........

I would personally like to take a minute to Thank Danielle and Shawn for letting me stay with them and helping me keep my head above water during a really rough time.

(As i start to cry just thinking about how much i will miss them.)

But as strong as i may have tried to be and hold back showing things in my life were bothering me.

They were.....

I originally felt like a pest upon moving in with them. 

You know they were newly married with a new baby, and here i was. 

But they have made me feel so welcome and like part of the family.

 words can not explain how grateful i am for everything they have done for me

And how grateful i am to call them my friends. 

I really am one lucky girl to have friends as amazing as both of them. 

Im sort of at a loss for words right now.

Im sorry but there are actually tears falling from my eyes.

Im going to miss them both as well as their beautiful daughter Raven who I love with all of my heart.

SHe is the sweetest little baby ever, and I'm going to miss all the cute little songs all her toys make and her beautiful smile. And watching her quickly grow up. 

Im going to also miss their two sweet dogs who have kept me very loved at night.

Sadie is the best cuddle buddy a girl could ask for. Sadie is this beautiful Golden Chow who has been sleeping next to me every night lately.

Its sort of cute how i wake up with her head next to mine all cuddled up to me.

And Luxe the big poodle who likes to sleep on my legs. 

I could really go on and on but  i should be packing my car and getting in the shower and maybe starting my drive.

I don't want anyone to feel left out but i promise i will write more when i get to Cali and get settled. 

I just felt like updating before i started my drive. 

My friend Courtney made it in safe from NJ to Go on this amazing adventure with me. 

I had the best last night in Portland at Apex with Danielle, Shawn, Zay, Jason, Todd, Jack, Jon, Courtney and Nick. With the amazing Nikki behind the bar. Thank you all for a Great Last night in Town.

OK. Im so sorry to cut this short but IT'S DRIVE TIME!!!!!!

I will not be posting pictures on FB during the drive but will be posting pictures to my INSTAGRAM which is linked to my TWITTER.

If you don't have instagram then feel free to follow me on Twitter. My name on both is JerseyChil.

But regardless I will post a photo overload in my next blog. I PROMISE.

 CAR IS LOADED AND ITS TIME TO GO... 

Till Next time thank you for taking the time to read my rambles. 

SOUTH BOUND and DOWN 

CUE MUSIC............